I often feel invisible, like a ghost. An imagination of what was had, a fantasy. Maybe… A fucking nightmare. I feel empty most days. Oblivious to the world. Meeting with my demons… As my escape… As my embrace. Its funny how alone I feel some days. Watching the race of life pass me as I stand still. Times that once mattered… Moments that no longer exist. I wonder sometimes… In the hidden places of faded memories. Drifting my mind to a time when it all made sense… Till reality sets in and there’s nothing again.

Why do we say thank you when someone says they’re sorry for your loss? Is it a courtesy… Perhaps a welcoming of sorts. Knowing they’re concern for you is evident in they’re words. The sincerity of their hearts…. #Thoughts

See you later

It took a minute.. A severe gap in time before I realized you were gone. Thoughts of you rush through my mind and its surreal… The way you vanished. I always thought there’d be more… More days, more nights, more love… More life. How can I be so blind to not love you till the last breath you survived. The last pray you knelt for. The last hope of goodbye… Gone. I always believed in see you laters… I guess now that’s all I have… The see you later till I meet you in heaven.

The other day I watched its a wonderful life and heard Zuzu say… “Everytime a bell rings an angel gets its wings” and so I smiled thinking perhaps… Just maybe… That might be true. So I closed my eyes and left the world in silence. Trying to listen for a bell… A ring… A chime… And alas in time I heard the sound. But, not a bell more like a pound. A thumping beat… My heart breaking maybe… At yet another defeat. Or is it defeat even?That you’re now in paradise as I remain here in the hidden strain of corruption and forbidden. Lost to a world eluded and full of taint. Where I prefer to fade in the darkness of night instead day. So I can find my dreams and nightmares all the same…

powerful yearning

I think it flows perfectly! Love it💕

the grey room

there’s a longing for you
that my body holds on to
it wormed its way around
and i can’t seem to pull it out.
it fills me up with desperation
an urge that borders on obsession.
you lurk in my dreams
and play in my fantasies.
you still stroke the fires
that house my darkest desires.
worst of all, you have my heart.
tattered and torn apart
the remnants of an story
with an unhappy ending.

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